“Mom, what will I do if you die?”One mother warmed her child by writing a guide to Dying
Death is a very heavy thing, from ancient times, no matter thousands of years ago, or our parents and elders, almost all shy about the word “death”.I once saw youbao’s mother asking for help on some website. It had been more than two months since her husband died of an accident. I and my family had not dared to tell my 3-year-old son the truth, telling him that his father had gone on a business trip far away and would not come back for some time.At the beginning, the child asked his father where he was every day and when he would come back, which made his mother so sad that she could not go on at one time.After a while, she planned to tell him the truth when he was older, but it seemed that the younger child had caught on and was unhappy every day, asking less and less about his father and often drawing his father on a piece of paper.Should I tell my children that dad is dead?And in what form should it be said?Indeed, birth, aging, illness and death are unstoppable laws of nature, and it is not easy to explain “death” to a 3-year-old child. In real life, almost most parents will deliberately downplay the treatment, and let the child slowly discover the truth on their own, hoping that time will heal everything.However, depression and escape can never really solve the problem, how to “death education” for children, is a “required course” every parent needs to master.When the day comes and the child is really exposed to “loss”, we should teach him how to deal with it better and give him the courage to come out of the haze.Hallie, an Illustrator in the US, was five years old when she suddenly realized that everyone dies and began to fear how she would live if her mother died.It was at the age of 23 that Hallie finally shared her fears with her mother, SUSIE, asking her to write a book on how she could cope with death and cope with life after her mother’s death.SUSIE like writing tutorials, so mother with a humorous tone, for her daughter wrote a guide to the mother’s death, including starting from 1 day after she died, until the second ten thousand days, daughter what to do, such as “poured out pain to their elders, friends”, “hold a funeral for the mother”, “went hiking in the mountains”, etc.”We should talk to our children more about death,” Suzy writes.We should take the loss of life as seriously as we embrace it.”I have to say that many Chinese parents lack the courage to talk about death with their children as Suzy does, and “death education” is equivalent to teaching children how to gradually learn how to accept loss and how to get rid of sadness and adapt to a new life after the death of a loved one.Like Suzy for her daughter wrote this guide to the mother’s death, we are to “death education”, the children should not have to choose from, resistance to a similar topic, but should be appropriate to talk about it, tell a child their real thoughts, encouraging children to try to identify the truth of life, grasps more positive view of death.When it comes to “death education” for children, many parents will be at a loss as to how to talk about such a heavy topic as “death”.Especially when the child some day and night to get along with the death of relatives, but also do not know how to explain clearly to the child the truth of the death, do not know how to help the child to solve sadness.In fact, like adults, at this time the child needs more is catharsis, we might as well guide the children to release their emotions, in their own way to express the thoughts of their loved ones.For example, encourage children to cry if they want to cry, try to use letters, painting to place their own grief and so on, allow children to vent their own emotions, give him more comfort.If blindly let children suppress their emotions, alone to face, it is likely to leave a psychological shadow, causing a bad impact on growth.In addition, in our daily life, we should seize every opportunity when the topic of death is involved in the growth of children, so that children are aware of the existence of death and carry out “death education”.For example, when a child’s pet dies, we can hold a small “funeral”, through such ceremony, to deepen our children for the memory of death, give the child a with the opportunity to say goodbye to past emotions, and completes the psychological counseling for children, help children walked out of the sadness quickly and establish a more profound understanding of death.Conclusion: Death is inevitable. We might as well learn from SUSIE, who wrote the “Guide to Mom’s Death”, when we are teaching children about death.Tell children the natural law of life, age, illness and death in this world truthfully, do not deliberately avoid the topic of death, guide children to face death, so as to help children understand the true meaning of death, no longer feel fear.Today’s topic: How do you teach your children about death?